Sophia Parmele

Pluviophile

I am a pluviophile

A lover of the rain

That patters across the window

And lessens my pain

I love the way it drenches

The grass and the tree

Leaving sweet dewdrops

That smell fresh in the breeze

I love the way it’s validating

The way the sky cries

But makes me feel weird because

Then why couldn’t I?

There’s something that stops me

Like heavy clouds that can’t rain

That fall to the earth

As if they were attached to a chain

And there the clouds sit

All gloomy and blue

Accidentally clouding

Everyone’s good mood

The clouds, they don’t mean to

Actually they were hurt first

They were the ones bound down

On this crazy ass Earth

I wished you were the one

I wished you were the one

When we danced in the dark

I wished you were the one

When we played ball at the park

I wished you were the one

When I kissed you goodnight

I wished you were the one

Even when we got into a fight

I wished you were the one

And I am wishing still

But now my hope is dwindling

And eventually it will

Disappear into the stars

And on that one fateful day

A shooting star will fall

So I wish there will be someone to say

“You are the one”

When I’m older

Some say the older you get

The less that you cry

And in some cases that’s true

I’m not gonna lie

But for me it’s the opposite

The older I’ve gotten

The more stress I’ve encountered

And the good times I’ve forgotten

Maybe when I’m older

Even older than I am

I will cry less

Because I will have swam

In a lake full of tears

A lake I made myself

That I won’t feel the difference

When a drop is expelled

Goldfish memory

I have the memory of a goldfish

At least that’s what they say

I don’t know who “they” is

But I guess it doesn’t matter anyway

My brain has been beaten down

To the point where I can’t remember

Anything from middle school

Or January through December

My younger self could remember

Every little thing

I would appreciate every event

And everything life could bring

There was a time I wished

That my memory could withstand

Each and every beating

And even grow, expand

I can’t say I’m totally mad

At my amnesia prone self

Because then everything bad

Is put on a shelf

In the back of my mind

Right where is belongs

So I can slowly forget

A person’s rights and wrongs

Summertime Sadness

I know I should like summer break

But I’ve never felt so blue

Since now I have time to sit and think

Letting emotions stew

My depression fills the silence

But no one would think to check

How I’m drowning in tears

That overtake my neck

I know not how or why

My emotions hit so deep

But it’s probably because when I’m busy

I only think of them before I sleep

But now the homework is done

Along with the projects and tests

And although I want to relax

My mind can never seem to rest

For if it rests for too long

Then sadness starts to creep in

like an unwanted shadow

Or an awfully evil twin

But maybe if I start preparing

Now for the upcoming years

Then my thoughts will be occupied

Instead of leaving me in tears

Wading Water

I saw something glimmer on the ocean’s surface

Something shiny and blue

I waded into the water to grab it

But my hand slipped

I felt the shiny glass

I waded further

But a current pushed it away

I continued to chase it

The water pooled around my ankles

Then my knees and my hips

But I didn’t seem notice

As the chilly water rose

I pushed on and on

But my hand never seemed to reach

Until I waded in so deep

That now water was all that I would see

I tried to take another step

But my feet were glued to muck

My lungs screamed at my brain

That all I needed was air

But when I opened my eyes one last time

Turns out, nothing was ever really there

Counting Sheep

It’s 3am

I lie awake

Frustrated because

My sleep’s at stake

It’s 3:05am

The sheep have jumped the fence

At least a hundred times

But they can’t do very much

When I can’t get you off my mind

It’s 3:15am

You’ve been running through my head all day

Do you ever get exhausted?

Because I’m exhausted you’re taking up space

When you’re not even wanted

It’s 3:30am

When I try to quell your speed

You only seem to go faster

Preventing me from falling asleep

Tomorrow I’ll be a disaster

Cruel Universe

I think the universe is cruel

Because you can’t expect me to believe

That there’s no one on this earth

Destined to be with me

God kicks people out

Of my lonely, miserable life

Do I really make him angry?

Does he have a personal strife?

Because all I want is someone

Someone sweet and kind

Who will be there on my darkest days

Wanting my love which he will find

Addiction

When I was younger I didn’t understand how easy it was to turn to mind-numbing substances

Pills that could take you into another world

Or momentarily slow this one

When I was younger, I thought that the solution was to be happy

What I didn’t realize was the pain

The suffering which is a part of all of us

The suffering that makes us human

I didn’t realize how painful it could feel

Sometimes more than the worst cut imaginable

Because unlike a physical wound

I can’t put a bandaid over my heart

Pretend everything is ok

I think for many, that bandaid, are the pills

The pills that will provide temporary relief

But that’s just the thing

Is it worth ruining a chance at happiness

For a single, small pill?

Frost Flower

There was once this small flower

Covered in frost

During the day and the night

All its hope had been lost

No matter the rain

No matter the shine

The frost only hardened

With an intricate design

Until beside it a flower

Also sprouted with frost

And together they learned

That all hope was not lost

And with time the frost dissolved

Leaving a shimmering light

And now their petals shone

Vibrantly bright

The Pearl Moon

The pearl moon

Is what everyone sees

Dainty and white

It shines above the trees

Cameras will flash

Strangers in awe

But they’ll all leave as soon

As the full moon is gone

When the pearl disappears

All covered in soot

Would anyone care

To take a second to look?

At the beauty that lies

Within that pale shiny pearl

And all that it does

For this unfaithful world

The Graveyard

My heart is a graveyard

And my memories are ghosts

They are guarded by a gate

But he happily waltzes in

With a backpack and a shovel

And an entire sleeve of gin

His shovel strikes the ground

Where an unfortunate tombstone lays

He continues striking on and on

With any remorse at bay

He doesn’t know the damage

He doesn’t know the pain

He just keeps digging and digging

Hoping thing will stay the same

He doesn’t think about ghosts

He doesn’t think about sin

He only thinks about himself

And letting himself in

Only when he sees a ghost

Does he scream and run away

And now the ghost is left

Damaged in the fray

It’s Hard To Love

It’s hard to love the rain

When the sun shines so bright

It’s hard to love the night

When the day is so light

But there’s some who love the smell of rain

And some who love the peace of night

So maybe someone will love me

I really hope they might

It’s hard to love brown eyes

When there are beautiful shades of blue

It’s hard to love the moths

When there are butterflies flying anew

But there’s some who love deep brown eyes

And some who love moths’ patterns

So maybe someone will love me

And maybe that’s all that matters

It’s hard to love the winter

When summer promises warm weather

It’s hard to love an introvert

When extroverts are at the center

But there’s some who love the snowy cold

And some who love inside

So maybe someone will love me

And stay by my side

The plight of a reader

Everyone always says

How a reader lives a thousand times

But what if by experiencing so much

They realize their own life offers

So little